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Array
(
[sid] => 38934
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Darkest Secrets
[time] => 2004-03-16 19:33:55
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => So many changes I've endured So much pain and uneven scores Too many tears spilt from these emerald eyes Too many times of just wishing to die I've spent so much time in front of a mirror Hating myself because of the streaming tears So much blood has been allowed to run along my arms And maybe it was me who was doing the most harm So much time spent hating myself because of what he's done So many pills swallowed that allowed me to not see morning's sun Arms full of scars that hold my darkest secrets. So many changes I want to withhold So much pain from believing the lies told All the tears that should've never been set free Too many times of just not being me A mirror reflection that has become what I despise It has never been like me to break down and cry An empty soul and a calloused heart I should've quite at the very start So much time spent inflicting harm upon myself Razors & pills left upon a bloody shelf Towels stained with blood that hold my darkest secrets. So many mistakes I want to erase Needing to leave and forget this place So many secrets buried deep within my mind With fears of truly knowing them because of what I might find Anger that rises but never becomes shallow Too many years spent of feeling only hollow Too many enemies that remain on my list A life full of pain, lacking the bliss Remaining walls that stand so high To prevent the pain & destruction of pride A scarred mind that holds my darkest secrets. So much time spent hating myself because of who I am Just wanting to give up, not care, to not give a damn So much anger about who I've become Despising my brother for being the favorable one So much trouble that outlines my past Harsh words that my parents can't take back Knowing false love and the hatred it brings The reality of my past that continues to sting The yelling, the fighting, the deep-rooted hate And knowledge of the unchanging fate A scarred heart that holds my darkest secrets. Hiding the reality I know I can't face Walking this earth, feeling so out of place Refusing to get help that could work Emptiness & sadness being allowed to lerk Pushing away and building my walls Allowing in just one out of them all The continuation of living while still hating my soul Knowing the mistakes and destructive tolls And making the best of the things I have With the reality that life doesn't allow you to go back A scarred child that has revealed her darkest secrets. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 314 [topic] => 13 [informant] => CuttersAngel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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