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Array ( [sid] => 38694 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Untitled [time] => 2004-03-15 01:55:12 [hometext] => This is another poem about the vacation spot my family goes to every year. [bodytext] => **~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

I surrender
my heart
to paradise
all over again
as I enter
the perfect,
breathtaking world
of peace,
beauty,
and serenity;
binding me
mentally,
for eternity

calm
washes over me

the gentle
rippling of water
drowns me
in the untangible beauty

the crisp air
fills my lungs,
dissolving
my worries

the cry
of the loon,
swallows me up,
soothing my thoughts

the rain
desends quietly,
washing away,
all my fears

when it comes time
to abandon
the gracious shores
of Cass Lake
I hang my heart
above the doorway
of home,
wishing,
I could stay,
forever

A silent tear
trickles down
my face
falling,
lifelessly,
to the dirt
as I bid goodbye
to paradise,
but only
to return soon

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ [comments] => 3 [counter] => 214 [topic] => 27 [informant] => monkey [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => NaturePoetry )

Untitled

Contributed by monkey on Monday, 15th March 2004 @ 01:55:12 AM in AEST
Topic: NaturePoetry

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

I surrender
my heart
to paradise
all over again
as I enter
the perfect,
breathtaking world
of peace,
beauty,
and serenity;
binding me
mentally,
for eternity

calm
washes over me

the gentle
rippling of water
drowns me
in the untangible beauty

the crisp air
fills my lungs,
dissolving
my worries

the cry
of the loon,
swallows me up,
soothing my thoughts

the rain
desends quietly,
washing away,
all my fears

when it comes time
to abandon
the gracious shores
of Cass Lake
I hang my heart
above the doorway
of home,
wishing,
I could stay,
forever

A silent tear
trickles down
my face
falling,
lifelessly,
to the dirt
as I bid goodbye
to paradise,
but only
to return soon

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Copyright © monkey ... [ 2004-03-15 01:55:12]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by monkey on Monday, 15th March 2004 @ 02:01:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hello Readers -
Its me.. Monkey. I'm having some troubles with this poem. (What else is new!) I cant think of a title. And I'm tryin to think of another word I can subsitute for "fears" or "worries" because they're too much alike, and also I would like to add the following stanza..

the sunshine
warms my face
melting away
my ________

except I have no idea what to put in it. But I want it to be something like "worries" or "fears" yet different. If that makes any sense. I want to make everyone who reads this poem to be able to realize how much I love this vacation spot. It makes you forget all your worries, and fears, and stuff like that. But I cant think of anything to place in that stanza that wouldnt be like "fears" or "worries" but yet be something that everyone hates to think about. If any of this makes sense please let me know if you have any ideas! It would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading...
Love & Happiness,
Monkey

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 15th March 2004 @ 02:37:34 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You paint a luvly picture.
Thanks for the vacation.
Good work.
luv, huggs,
emy

Re: Untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by whisper-of-night on Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 11:29:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

God that sounds really a nice place, it is so cold and boring and lonely where I am living, really wish I can go to such a lovely place for holiday, what a shame..... sorry monkey, my brain wasn't working laterly, so I can not help you with that word thingy, hehe, surely you can think of something nice, just relax.....

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