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Array
(
[sid] => 38282
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Memories and Pain
[time] => 2004-03-11 18:08:45
[hometext] => A tale of my past, tears bled from my heart, half my life is gone, and i still think about the start
[bodytext] => I am a man turned 40 Having lots of pain and anger inside I know I have health problems That’s getting harder to hide Lately I’m having many thoughts Running through my head The kind of thoughts that keep you awake When it’s time to go to bed I remember when I was a child My daddy loved me so He took me everywhere he went And taught me things I needed to know I was his little boy So proud he was of me He had no idea about the future It’s just things we couldn’t see As the years went by We grew further apart He never even had time To help me build a go-kart At the age of fifteen We began to disagree I could never have any friends over His reasoning I did not see I remember him yelling The police are on their way Between us was only hatred And why I could not say We were pals I am your son Now you scold me For everything that’s done My life was not normal Like every other kid They didn’t have a dad That did the things you did I remember when I was eighteen Snow covered the ground The family all over for Christmas Looking in from outside I couldn’t hear a sound My niece and nephew Making faces at me through the window They were too young Their little minds didn’t know My brothers and sisters And all the children too Knew I was outside But there was nothing they could do I have been on my own For many years that have passed by I still have pain in my heart And inside it makes me cry I have hidden the pain And traveled the world about Changing my name And standing tall and stout Most people think they know me Thinking they are close to my heart They have no idea about my past How bitter or how tart They can look in my eyes And know I mean well Open there ears And hear the stories I tell Now I am forty My dad wants me to forgive him for his ways I tell him he is forgiven Before in the ground he lays My heart has pain But no more do I shed tears I live with what divided us In my teenage years Daddy I forgive you For all that you have done We have had our differences But I am still your son I live across the ocean I have a family of my own The things that happened to me as a teen To my children will never be shown Now I have other pains Much stress wares me down I can’t sleep at night Wishing I was in my home town I have made my bed And here I have to lye I have a family to take care of Until the day I die Being forty Is really not so bad I just wish that my memories Were really not so sad Daddy I truly love you I tell my kids about you too I want them to love their grandpa If it’s the last thing I do [comments] => 4 [counter] => 348 [topic] => 48 [informant] => waynster [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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