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Array
(
[sid] => 36856
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => love that just won't die
[time] => 2004-02-29 23:54:26
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => i call you a parasite you tilt your head and look blank i call you aloof you smile and say "thanks" i call you a poster child for abortion but you're twirling your hair and you can't hear me i sigh, disgusted and mutter, "i love you" it's the only thing you understand when i told you to leave you thought it was a joke so you punched my arm and excitedly told me about your new Powder Blue #3 lip gloss i was too stunned to press the matter so domesticated so easily you fit into the mold of the "housewife" no new thoughts nothing worth saying and you smile too ***** much once more i told you it wasn't working out and you needed to pack your ***** and get out but you were so engrossed by Oprah that you didn't even see the hole i punched in the wall when i saw that you couldn't hear me like a case of crabs that just won't go away i'm forced to put up with you each day but maybe there is another way i wouldn't eat the meals you made maybe take a few bites then spit it all out i'd stay out all night only coming home to call you every nasty name i could think of because i loved to see you cry but still you stayed you took it all with those tears smearing your make-up still you loved me and i hated you for it so i started to beat you for any reason i could find and sometimes for no reason at all thick eye shadow to hide the black eyes concealing clothing to cover the bruises but you'd never fight back just take each blow with silent tears and i must admit it kinda turned me on nothing is working you are still here still blabbing mindlessly even through your tears still you love me though i treat you like ***** i can't take it anymore no more beatings no more verbal abuse nothing but kindness and care i was never more pleasant than in the surreal series of days before i finally killed you in that cliched nightgown you slept easily in our bed your golden hair spread across your pillow like a silken halo that i dearly wanted to violate but now was not the time grasping a kitchen knife one that you had used to make meal after meal that i wouldn't eat poising the tip over your stomach no finesse, no gentle death i just stabbed and stabbed until my arm grew sore after the first forceful penetration you woke and watched it all and when i finally withdrew you stood and stared down and complained of the blood staining your nightgown all night you scrubbed it fading and erasing the stains never once mentioning the stabwounds never noticed the pain by morning the wounds were bled dry and pale and i saw that my efforts were to no avail you still cook and you still clean but the house reeks of decay no matter how much pine-sol you use and you still chatter endlessly about the most mindless things i'd shoot myself if i thought you'd let me go that easily i wish you joy i wish you peace and the release attained through closure i wish you happiness i wish you love but most of all i just wish you'd go away [comments] => 4 [counter] => 373 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )
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