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Array ( [sid] => 33631 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => When it all comes down again. [time] => 2004-02-03 03:35:40 [hometext] => The poem begins with its finale. This is just the first portion...I want to see what it's like. [bodytext] => Twin eyes brimmed with sorrow as the rain wet his cheeks
Bright scarlet anguish dripped from chin to the floor
The screams echoed silence in invisible floods
Two lies make tomorrow and the pain seemed to speak
Striking the concrete to add notes to the score
Redder than pain and louder than blood--

--The world felt like nothing, but nothing hurt more--
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 13 [informant] => EternitysLyre [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
When it all comes down again.

Contributed by EternitysLyre on Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 03:35:40 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Twin eyes brimmed with sorrow as the rain wet his cheeks
Bright scarlet anguish dripped from chin to the floor
The screams echoed silence in invisible floods
Two lies make tomorrow and the pain seemed to speak
Striking the concrete to add notes to the score
Redder than pain and louder than blood--

--The world felt like nothing, but nothing hurt more--




Copyright © EternitysLyre ... [ 2004-02-03 03:35:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: When it all comes down again. (User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 05:35:19 AM AEST
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This is a great example of why I look forward to your poems. You are without doubt one of the greatest wordsmiths i've ever come across. I can't wait for the rest of this one!

Truly,
-V.S.


Re: When it all comes down again. (User Rating: 1 )
by 13Hopes on Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 06:23:48 AM AEST
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I think this poem is truly bery clever...
Good write..

Cheers,
#13


Re: When it all comes down again. (User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 01:51:54 PM AEST
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I think Dan hit the nail on its head with the word "wordsmith". Your ability to mold words and thoughts into emotion-inciting beauty really shines through in this one. And the last line . . . well, color me impressed. Deeply.

--Nora


Re: When it all comes down again. (User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on Thursday, 5th February 2004 @ 11:13:04 AM AEST
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Your use of simple words is simply amazing! You paint a painfully graphic pucture what you are trying to descripe and I applaud you for that, Well Done!




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