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Array ( [sid] => 184359 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Fright [time] => 2017-07-27 23:24:09 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I do not not know where to go, who to turn, or who I am.
Drowning in pain, everything is always grey.
Always hurt and out of breath.
Everyday a thought of death.

One day white, the next day black.

I fall down daily & constantly push back up.
I am my own strength, I am my own fighter.
Little help, but, one maybe two friends.
I fight and fight.
Sometimes I loose, sometimes I win.

I know I am strong.
But why do I feel so weak?
My body empty, my soul gone.

Tears fall daily, I hate who Ive become.
Filled with anger, sadness and hate.
Is this who I now am?
Ive become my greatest fear.

Youve broken me from ever seeing light again.
The hope to finally overcoming my illness.
Youve assured me, that I am indeed hopeless.
I am useless in this world, for that I am reminded daily.

The world never being my friend, Ive always held a love.
Forever finding beauty, in all that has become.

I wish to become greater, then the person I see myself now.

Yes; I am sad.
Yes; I am afraid.
Yes; I am not ok.

How can there be so much hate & love in one body.
Enraged by the actions of other humans, yet so much love for the simple things.

To die is a great wish, it would mean being free.
But what is that to achieve?
I am not weak; no

I, this pain is unbareable.
Who am I to know, what could possibly make it somewhat bareable.

Vanish, I wish.
But too much Id miss.

For now, Ill just slit my wrists.

Dont worry, dont be alarmed.
There will be no harm, along my arm.
For this write it was all written in fright.

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 217 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Lauranhyde [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Fright

Contributed by Lauranhyde on Thursday, 27th July 2017 @ 11:24:09 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I do not not know where to go, who to turn, or who I am.
Drowning in pain, everything is always grey.
Always hurt and out of breath.
Everyday a thought of death.

One day white, the next day black.

I fall down daily & constantly push back up.
I am my own strength, I am my own fighter.
Little help, but, one maybe two friends.
I fight and fight.
Sometimes I loose, sometimes I win.

I know I am strong.
But why do I feel so weak?
My body empty, my soul gone.

Tears fall daily, I hate who Ive become.
Filled with anger, sadness and hate.
Is this who I now am?
Ive become my greatest fear.

Youve broken me from ever seeing light again.
The hope to finally overcoming my illness.
Youve assured me, that I am indeed hopeless.
I am useless in this world, for that I am reminded daily.

The world never being my friend, Ive always held a love.
Forever finding beauty, in all that has become.

I wish to become greater, then the person I see myself now.

Yes; I am sad.
Yes; I am afraid.
Yes; I am not ok.

How can there be so much hate & love in one body.
Enraged by the actions of other humans, yet so much love for the simple things.

To die is a great wish, it would mean being free.
But what is that to achieve?
I am not weak; no

I, this pain is unbareable.
Who am I to know, what could possibly make it somewhat bareable.

Vanish, I wish.
But too much Id miss.

For now, Ill just slit my wrists.

Dont worry, dont be alarmed.
There will be no harm, along my arm.
For this write it was all written in fright.

Copyright © Lauranhyde ... [ 2017-07-27 23:24:09]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Fright (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Friday, 28th July 2017 @ 09:01:22 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Lauranhyde:
Gifted people often suffer because they feel an sense things others do not. The depth of your emotional write is also the measure of the artistry of your mind.
The hauntings you describe here so eloquently testify to a deep capacity to love and care for others and yourself.
Humanity/'/s opposite is apathy--the ability to feel nothing. Turn the vision around: Immerse your emotions in caring outside of yourself, and as you do, the turmoil will become energy you can channel. Been there. My heart is with you. softerware

Re: Fright (User Rating: 1 )
by lilblkcat on Tuesday, 8th August 2017 @ 09:15:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow. This is very moving. I can feel where you are coming from with your words. Great write.

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