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Array
(
[sid] => 184325
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => In The End...
[time] => 2017-07-13 21:11:46
[hometext] => I wonder if he knew? I always wonder if I/'/ll know... But how can we? It isn/'/t our plan. We all have a role to play.
[bodytext] => I hide my history when all I want to do is scream it out loud. I/'/ve worked so hard to validate my existence while desperately grasping to life. Did I get it all wrong? Did I go and mess this up? I/'/ve ricocheted and buoyed. Maybe I/'/ve just been running. At the wake... they/'/ll say: what will they say about me? She chased the sunrise and fought dragons. She built castles upon the sand and destroyed empires. She touched hearts and battled minds. To many she was mean. She was headstrong and sharp tongued. She pushed hard and loved harder. She was slow to forgive and at times too sensitive. To others, she wasn/'/t sensitive enough. She encompassed the full spectrum of imperfection and humanity. She worked hard and failed. She worked harder and succeeded. She just was. She lost many she loved and couldn/'/t stop loving. She just convinced herself of gravity and finality - false comforts she shielded her heart with. She was like a star, steadily erupting into a supernova, barely able to contain herself from destroying all around her, but with such sincerity. She knew these faults. These invariably cracking flaws that ate away at her like necrosis. But she didn/'/t care. When she did, it was hard on everyone... She had to decide if she was going to balance and renew constantly, or accept finality. As if it were her choice. Her disposition denied her the disappointment of others. She still valued the gift of life so much she would take it anyway she could. But, in looking to justify her existence... why did she deserve life more than others that had passed? Then, I remember my training. Shut it off. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 130 [topic] => 8 [informant] => odessa19 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AmericanTragedy )
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