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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 03-June 11:23:23 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 176410
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Santa's Wife was a Dependent Clause
[time] => 2013-06-30 20:09:20
[hometext] => Going a little crazy with the English language..
[bodytext] => We landed men upon the moon; And microwaved our meals, Long before we thought of putting suitcases on wheels! Computers now do everything; While I just hunt and peck. Except for one small oversight: There is no GRAMMAR CHECK! They spell and sort and print and speak, And wrap my work in themes! But conjugate a simple verb? Only in my dreams! Plain English is no longer plain; in case you haven’t guessed! And I forget the rhymes and rules; I once so well possessed! Change “y” to “i” and add “es” Turning sky to skies I guess… So why is whies; and guy is guies? It’s pluraleeze distress! Remember “i” before the “e”? Except I think when we’re at sea; Cause surely we would never say; Get that anchor on its wiegh! I know that I should never let my participle dangle; Or let a preposition end a sentence I’ve untangled. A prefix though, can change a word before its’ even spoken! Like the “con” in nettiuct, and the "ho" in boken. There's suffixes like “ly” that wholly lack of truth! And prefixes that vanish; Like “un” without it’s cooth . Insure, assure, ensure, “God bless you!” I reply. Why not just call it guarantee? Be done with it! Good bye! Who, whom, whose, I ask you; Who calls you whom these days? Except of course at weddings when they give the bride away.. Not all nouns are proper; It’s in the name they say; Listen up name-droppers: The PROnouns work for pay! The auntonymns are pious; the sinonyms are not; the freeway’s fraught with idioms, and I’ve met quite a lot! But like those silent letters; the “B” in debt and comb; It’s time to rap this wranting up and take my self back homb! [comments] => 2 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 7 [informant] => softerware [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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