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Array
(
[sid] => 176127
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Need for Narcissism
[time] => 2013-05-23 07:05:18
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => It's a tough road to travel alone As others fly by My pace feels subdued and burdened The sense of urgency plagues me To what end? I am never sure From one moment to the next In anticipation of tomorrow with only dreams of yesterday to hold me tight The mental illness that controls me has no name No clinically found Similarly, the evil that follows me remains obscure However , they are no less there , as sure as the air I breathe and the ground I stand upon , they wreak havoc on my conscious and torment my sleep I have but one viable option I have given up the fight I concede Release them upon me Let the demons of my past and the thieves of my future have their way with me Let them rape me of my innocence Steal from me my hope Let the antagonists of my emotions add salt to my wounds Direct my negativity so that any optimism is crushed and mangled Finally, let me not strive for happiness ,for each attempt is a cataclysmic let down exacerbating my already indifferent and apathetic view of the world that has thus far cradled me into this deep hole of lies and unforgivingness I hope to not be remembered a quitter Rather someone who has accepted his destiny of below mediocrity and substandard deserving of love from otherwise good people who have a choice They should ,and eventually all do ,decided to leave me be to my self loathing and misanthropic attitudes towards others Not so much a revelation but rather a summation of my daily pride meandering away Once long and hard attempts are now limp and shriveled deficits Subtracting from my manhood Enticing no one Inside I can feel my zest for life slowly eroding into nothing more than the most primitive human needs of food, sex and shelter Even so ,I barely eat , my libido is dead , and I am homeless in more than one sense of the word ------ ---------------- [comments] => 2 [counter] => 266 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Jyssvw [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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