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Array
(
[sid] => 162114
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Remember what you did to me?
[time] => 2010-09-01 01:40:11
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => You walk up to me and tell me to smile, i ask you, Why? I have no reason to. You said it makes you feel good inside. It doesn't..stop telling me that, it doesn't make me feel good! I feel like drowning in a pool of blood, i feel worthless in a world I want to exit my own family even acts like i don't exist. I'm seen, but right through as if I'm a ghost somebody that nobody needs to know. I'm a waste of space If I smile it's only so my emotions aren't traced I'm tired of you telling me you understand me just walk through me like you always did and leave me be! Did you forget the times when I needed you but your TV or games were more important? Remember calling me, stupid, pathetic, and ignorant? Remember you telling me how much of a horrible mother I am to my child? But when were you ever there for your own? Your castle was never my home, I never had one. Remember when you hit me? Remember when you threw me against the wall? REMEMBER WHEN YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE RIBS?!? REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID I'M NOT IN YOUR REALITY, I'M CRAZY I'M INSANE! REMEMBER!!!! DO YOU?!!? REMEMBER HOW YOU CALLED ME A SLUT, REMEMBER WHEN YOU LAUGHED IN MY FACE FOR TELLING YOU WHAT YOU DID TO ME! CALLING IT MY PITY PARTY! DO YOU REMEMBER?!? REMEMBER WHEN YOU DRAGGED ME OUT OF MY ROOM AS I WAS SCREAMING DOWN STEEP STAIRS BY ONLY MY HAIR AND THREW ME OUTSIDE WHILE MY OWN SISTERS GRINNED WITH SATISFACTION!! DO YOU?!?! Well you should, you hurt me, you make me miserable, you make me hate me, you created this darkness inside of me You beat me verbally, emotionally, physically. if you can't love me who can? who will? I deserve nobody..... I'm meant to be alone.. I was the one there for you, Why would you do this to me? What did i do? I only want you to say sorry.. Don't you see what you did to me? I'm alone, I'm filled with hurt, I'm gone, I'm not alive I just exist... I'm left out from the world. I want you to know last week i cut myself for the first time.. across my arms, i wore short sleeves, you still didn't notice... You see me but you see right through me.. when i end up taking my life please remember, i was always there for you and my pain you denied. The hurt will stop, this will be through even after all that you did to me mom just remember I'll always love you. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 231 [topic] => 6 [informant] => Beautifully-Imperfect [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 2 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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