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Array
(
[sid] => 150963
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Angel of Light or Angel of Death?
[time] => 2009-06-23 09:31:14
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I believe in this life, we get one chance. Just one. We can either do it right or make it wrong and we in the end have to live with either the joys or consequences of our choices in life. Many thoughts crowd my less spacious mind, thoughts of the present, the past and the uncertain future. Unwanted thought invade me and consume me, thoughts of turmoil, thoughts of what if's, thoughts of denial and deceit. These thoughts arise from certain situations that I am faced with daily, where my ears and eyes disagree and I'm left alone not knowing what to believe. I've been beaten and I've been bruised, broken and used. I've had promises made and they've never stood true. How can a lifetime of exact repetition be completely forgotten now? How am I able to fully believe a simple truth if I have been taught all my life that there is no such thing as a simple truth. It's hard to stand knowing all that I do and not believe that I will be right back where I began years ago...broken and bruised. You teeter on the edge of sin far too closely for me not to doubt that you'll give in. The devil in red looks appetizing and is far too obessessed with the taste of your innocense for me to be at complete ease. What do i do to proctect my own soul, my own body, my own heart? Safely wrap my heart in security blankets and lay it gently in a glass box. My heart is in shreds already, not much left of it. The blankets will keep it held together for it will never mend on its own. There once was just scars, but to look at it now, it resembles shredded paper, completely helpless, completely worn, completely non-repairable. Whats left of it now is by far not what I wish, but I did once tell you if you wanted it, it was yours. I am teetering on the ideas of it because it is so fragile, that one last small tear will completely unravel the few stitches that keep the shreds in one place. When the stitches unravel, so will I - be lost forever in a world I cannot see, in a world i could not breathe. Blood will pour from my heart as tears fell from my eyes, mixing in a bittersweet nothingness - tears washing the blood thin. How do I make sure that my life is not drained out? Can someone please tell me how to protect without shutting everything out? All I know to do is - forget what i mine and leave it all behind. I want to believe the words spoken to me. I am desperately in love with an angel, the sweet scent intoxicates me, brings me to heaven in a passing moment. Although an angel, there are many kinds. So hard for me to grasp onto words for I have been deceived by an angel before, an angel of death that appeared to me as an angel of light. Are thou an angel of death as well? O, I pray ye not. O How I wish to be completely happy, but i fear that will never be, for this confusion and invasion of thoughts is all that is left of me. The scars on my bloodstained wrists remind me of the turmoil I once endured. The scars beneath my breasts make me feel once more - cutting my heart out of me never works. I see everything that I want in front of me, so close yet so far away. I thought I had it all before until the ground fell from under me and became the torment of my own defeat. I dont want to be tied to the whipping post again this time. The rips in my back from the glass lancing my skin could not take another forced ripping. I fear the ground will break beneath me for I see my dreams in front of me. I learned my first time around to not prey on my dreams, for they leave you crushed and abandoned. I want to step forward to you, but glue holds my feet. The devil entices and the devil gets into my head. Words ringing through and through that you are the devil's bride instead of my angel of light. The devil tastes of candy treats and sins so sweet, can you resist the temptation you desire so? Claiming to be of mine and the devil claiming you're theirs. A twisted tie between the realms of good and evil, which will prevail? Sin is easier to resist when you don't teeter on the border line, but everyday you sit on the boundry. Am I paranoid about you angel or has my past made me wise? Someone assure me that I dont have to die. Someone assure me that my angel is mine. The devil lies but why does she lie to the world about one certain thing? How do I know what is mine and what is fake?
[comments] => 0
[counter] => 202
[topic] => 48
[informant] => drummerchic18
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
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