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Array
(
[sid] => 147372
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => the very moment of emotion
[time] => 2009-01-11 03:41:26
[hometext] => from my heart
[bodytext] => Extremely insecure, Massive wall or block in my head Commitment scares the ***** out of me I have been hurt in so many ways In my head, I find it hard to control it I feel like I’m loosing myself of who I am? Does that make sense? I’m falling apart and everything has crashed right in front of my face I could of prevented it all in the first place Not necessary guilt i feel Pain Sorrow Anger Contentment There all scrambled in my head Years of built up "what ever it is inside of me" Now and effecting me on a massive level mentally Just hit me in a critical part in my life a chapter A page in a book One day and finally one moment “My intentions are never to say hello followed with a good bye” I’m something else but no one really sees that Think of me as not a role model, But a friend companion someone to cope to despite all odds Journey in life because we can only practice what we preach as well Cope depending on how you look at it but then again… what’s life ? Without risks? Temptations Your inner drive for something You want something so badly, Farther you reach The rather it gets away from you Very vulnerable right at this moment i feel Vulnerable to me and what the future lies before me Intrigued on how your mind thinks and i feel a drive or need for more of that Uncontrolled sensation But don’t let me fool you I second guess how I feel All the time Could be for a number of reasons Excitement Sexual Mental momental It feels so odd to me At this point in my life Possibly, its deeper than that I just don’t know what that may be yet What lies in the future my friend I just close my eyes Not think of nothing And just listen for once Can’t have a reason for everything in life One day i will find those answers in my life Sum up to one moment in my life Can look at it and be proud of it for me MY FATHER Then I will ask myself "in the end was it all worth it" I feel threatened Vulnerable to me Think deeper than that Sometimes I just can help how i feel I feel uncontrolled Driven to something and blinding out everything that really matters Couldn’t stop even if I wanted to Blinding out in everything within me My past and forget about everything that really matters For that one second I can feel happy even if it hurts me in the end Everything that comes in my way But can you look in my eyes and see what i see? “You should never forget yourself... who else are you sure to have forever” See past the illusion “Chance in life, people are taken from you and not always by a choice of there own” Only to leave with a goodbye This isn’t about my past I’m letting go of that Starting over clean slate Sometimes its the best way I’m a very confined person Don’t say much and keep my thought to myself Some people just don’t need to know “There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore.. and who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.” 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' [comments] => 3 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 48 [informant] => derickkk [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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