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Array ( [sid] => 146207 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Forever Temporary [time] => 2008-11-09 00:30:25 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Some say,
a rose is temporary and will one day wilt and die
But the beauty it holds,
will forever be in the heart of my eye.
Forever will always be
Forever... temporary to me.

Some say,
the emptiness I have, will one day wilt and die
But the love I have,
will forever be in the heart of my sigh
Forever will always be
Forever... temporary to me.

Some say,
I will be fulfilled one day, before I wilt and die
But the one I have lost.
will forever be in the heart of my cry.
Forever will always be
Forever ... temporary to me.
[comments] => 7 [counter] => 254 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Recyclebin [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Forever Temporary

Contributed by Recyclebin on Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 12:30:25 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Some say,
a rose is temporary and will one day wilt and die
But the beauty it holds,
will forever be in the heart of my eye.
Forever will always be
Forever... temporary to me.

Some say,
the emptiness I have, will one day wilt and die
But the love I have,
will forever be in the heart of my sigh
Forever will always be
Forever... temporary to me.

Some say,
I will be fulfilled one day, before I wilt and die
But the one I have lost.
will forever be in the heart of my cry.
Forever will always be
Forever ... temporary to me.

Copyright © Recyclebin ... [ 2008-11-09 00:30:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 12:38:50 AM AEST
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Not bad at all. May I suggest a different method of making the "forever" of your second-to-last line stand out, though? The drawn out elipses don't look particularly eloquent to me... perhaps "forever..." and then a line break?

- A

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 07:03:35 AM AEST
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Very songful in its refrain...
Great job...
I like the concept here...
Steve

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 08:03:44 AM AEST
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Wow bin,

This piece is very deep in its meaning.
Very touching..........Mike

I think the '.....' works the same as a line break

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Sunday, 9th November 2008 @ 06:12:09 PM AEST
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Hey Bin, I really loved the way this was written and I loved the concept also... Beautifully done..
Jenni

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 10th November 2008 @ 03:02:04 AM AEST
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Wow! Can I say wow? I think I just did. Forever... temporary to me. What a concept....what an analogy! Very melodic!!! Great flow and just too damn cool.

*applauds*

Th-ank you! I enjoyed it. :D

Tim

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by Anu on Monday, 10th November 2008 @ 03:19:11 AM AEST
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Clap Clap...!!!
Too gud write..!!

Re: Forever Temporary (User Rating: 1 )
by outlawpoet on Monday, 10th November 2008 @ 05:28:36 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

well said liked this one i can also relate good work

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