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Array ( [sid] => 144471 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Self Inflicted Inquisition [time] => 2008-08-09 16:29:42 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Swirling smoke
A relief for only a moment
My broken heart spoke
Love is long absent

Wishing to be in flowing darkness
Where I am no loner broken
My sorrow is ever ceaseless
I fear, for a sad existence I am destine

I cannot bear to let anyone in
Yet I desperately need a friend
I am afraid that my fears will win
And I’ll only be alone in the end

I am torn in two eternally
There is not much left of the girl I once was
I could only find a little of her amidst the debris
Of this, love was the cause

I am hiding within myself; afraid to be me
So I live in my dreams
That is where I truly long to be
Among the stars and moonbeams

I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone who’d listen and not leave
Real friends in this world are too few
I seem to only find those who deceive

I am torn to pieces
A shadow of what once was, long ago
Now forsaken to alone face all the ages
To unrequited love I am a widow

There is no point in going on
From this world I will fade
I’ve been forsaken for so long
I wish all of this could be unmade

But I am afraid to die
What if I’ve disappointed God? I wonder…
I'm so morbidly scared; my mind's awry
Am I to be tortured even in the life after?

What punishment shall I receive?
For a life wasted
There will be no reprieve
In vain has he waited?

What if I cannot do what I was sent here for?
What if I never find out my purpose?
Will He close the door?
Because of my blindness

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 223 [topic] => 75 [informant] => muinanyere [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )

Self Inflicted Inquisition

Contributed by muinanyere on Saturday, 9th August 2008 @ 04:29:42 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished

Swirling smoke
A relief for only a moment
My broken heart spoke
Love is long absent

Wishing to be in flowing darkness
Where I am no loner broken
My sorrow is ever ceaseless
I fear, for a sad existence I am destine

I cannot bear to let anyone in
Yet I desperately need a friend
I am afraid that my fears will win
And I’ll only be alone in the end

I am torn in two eternally
There is not much left of the girl I once was
I could only find a little of her amidst the debris
Of this, love was the cause

I am hiding within myself; afraid to be me
So I live in my dreams
That is where I truly long to be
Among the stars and moonbeams

I wish I had someone to talk to
Someone who’d listen and not leave
Real friends in this world are too few
I seem to only find those who deceive

I am torn to pieces
A shadow of what once was, long ago
Now forsaken to alone face all the ages
To unrequited love I am a widow

There is no point in going on
From this world I will fade
I’ve been forsaken for so long
I wish all of this could be unmade

But I am afraid to die
What if I’ve disappointed God? I wonder…
I'm so morbidly scared; my mind's awry
Am I to be tortured even in the life after?

What punishment shall I receive?
For a life wasted
There will be no reprieve
In vain has he waited?

What if I cannot do what I was sent here for?
What if I never find out my purpose?
Will He close the door?
Because of my blindness

Copyright Â© muinanyere ... [ 2008-08-09 16:29:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Self Inflicted Inquisition (User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on Saturday, 9th August 2008 @ 04:41:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I wrote up a long comment, but I decided not to post it.

I will say that I've never come across a door that couldn't be opened (or broken into^_^)

always, abraham

Re: Self Inflicted Inquisition (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Sunday, 10th August 2008 @ 02:48:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can feel the anguish and torment in this write. You write this type of poetry so well... and I am imagining that you write from the heart,,,, altho I wish your weren't///
You need to stop torturing yourself like this... find somethng happy and try writing about it...
(just my 2 cents worth) Don't mean to offend..
Hugs
Jenni

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