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Array ( [sid] => 136408 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Broken Ship [time] => 2007-08-01 19:17:31 [hometext] => This is my first post in a very, very long time. This poem was wrote a long time ago too, I just felt like posting it though. Hope you like it. [bodytext] => Proud to be aboard this ship
We sail through with this broken mast

All these winds seem to calm
The rain slowly stops
We fight our way through
Hold up our own through this storm

We lost some people
Got a few scrapes
Have a few broken parts
We can still hold up on our own
There’s still many more storms to cross
But we can repair ourselves and prepare ourselves
Along the way
[comments] => 6 [counter] => 349 [topic] => 43 [informant] => TheLostPuppet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Broken Ship

Contributed by TheLostPuppet on Wednesday, 1st August 2007 @ 07:17:31 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Proud to be aboard this ship
We sail through with this broken mast

All these winds seem to calm
The rain slowly stops
We fight our way through
Hold up our own through this storm

We lost some people
Got a few scrapes
Have a few broken parts
We can still hold up on our own
There’s still many more storms to cross
But we can repair ourselves and prepare ourselves
Along the way

Copyright Â© TheLostPuppet ... [ 2007-08-01 19:17:31]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 12:19:48 AM AEST
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Raging storms, banding together, seeing it through to
sunnier days ... hmmmm ... sounds like life, no?

The metaphor here is outstanding and the hope
floating within the words is heart warming. Truly.

Great post.

~Breezy

Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 05:28:19 AM AEST
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The idea is sound. I too like the meatphor.
I do have some trouble with the shifts back and forth between past and present. But I like the sense of pride and strength!

Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by inlovewithaladd on Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 02:02:42 PM AEST
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not as artistic as i like my poems, but i can feel your emotion. pretty good piece

Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Wednesday, 5th March 2008 @ 05:36:52 PM AEST
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I like it as is. It's a very powerfull write.
huggs,
emy

Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by RitalinKid on Tuesday, 25th November 2008 @ 06:20:54 PM AEST
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After reading your work, I can see why you didn't follow my piece. You are clearly more open. But the simplicity of Broken Ship is actually very peaceful. Cheers

Re: Broken Ship (User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladekisses on Wednesday, 18th March 2009 @ 01:16:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I enjoyed this one.
I love the hope you give in the end.
Great job.

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