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Array ( [sid] => 135517 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Music Box [time] => 2007-06-25 05:39:02 [hometext] => a feeble attempt at poetry [bodytext] =>
Play little music box
make the girl dance
there on the mirror in her mind.

Backward reflections
and small imperfections
can change your perceptions in kind

Distasteful memories
seen in reverse
she twists every truth as she spins.

No time to feel
when the only thing real
is the need to conceal your sins

Play little music box
make the girl dance
give her no moment of peace.

Drive her insane
let the tune wrack her brain
'til she cries out for death's sweet release

One day the lies
will fall on her conscience
and I will be waiting close by.

To see the mirror shattered
her life tossed and scattered
And all that once mattered just die

L. Carling c2007

[comments] => 6 [counter] => 240 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Rakerman1999 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Music Box

Contributed by Rakerman1999 on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 05:39:02 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Play little music box
make the girl dance
there on the mirror in her mind.

Backward reflections
and small imperfections
can change your perceptions in kind

Distasteful memories
seen in reverse
she twists every truth as she spins.

No time to feel
when the only thing real
is the need to conceal your sins

Play little music box
make the girl dance
give her no moment of peace.

Drive her insane
let the tune wrack her brain
'til she cries out for death's sweet release

One day the lies
will fall on her conscience
and I will be waiting close by.

To see the mirror shattered
her life tossed and scattered
And all that once mattered just die

L. Carling c2007

Copyright © Rakerman1999 ... [ 2007-06-25 05:39:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 05:46:32 AM AEST
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How artistic to take the music box dancer and transfer those feelings of anger and pain.
It shows the inhumane way that you have had your heart manipulated and betrayed.
Very well done. Amazed at this well written piece.

Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by Thespia on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 05:59:09 AM AEST
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Not Feeble at all!! This poem is a lovely piece, full of feeling an emotion all based round a simple object. A fantastic write! Well done!

Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 09:33:00 AM AEST
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Oh my throwers of the roses, so glad to see you back and you better stay or I will hunt you down and drag you back here....... tee hee

This poem...... loved the use of the music box... very poetic as you always do and not a pathetic attempt.......

I worry some though as I hope it isnt referring to a past dancing well mmmmm whatever ..... anyway if that shall be the case I will come and whoop ur ass LOL

(we both know what I am speaking of)

Me'sssss

huggers

~Michelle~

Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 01:45:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hands you a rose
Bravo Larry bravo
See i told you your writing block will go away.

hugs

Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on Tuesday, 26th June 2007 @ 12:16:50 AM AEST
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A very creative way to use the metaphor of the girl on the musicbox, and as others have said it isn't feeble at all!
The anger and hurt in this are tangible, and that last stanza just WOW!

Superb write!

Dom

Re: Music Box (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 5th July 2007 @ 06:11:53 AM AEST
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deeply moving, beautifully written, once again perfection in style and grace, keep 'em coming!

hugs n' love nessa

roses n' a daisy:)

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