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Array ( [sid] => 135177 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I Fade. [time] => 2007-06-12 18:47:37 [hometext] => Comments appreciated. [bodytext] => Beside all the shadows,
Over the echoes,
And beyond all the meadows,

I stand.

Inside harsh feelings.
Inside me I’m screaming,
Flowing beyond meaning,
Into suicidal dreaming.

I lay.

I felt better yesterday.
But not today.
I’m losing my faith.
That It’ll all be OK,
Some day…

I hate.

But wrapped in the arms of Jason.
I’m in an emotional prison.
I’m in a mirrored dimension.
In a pocket full of potential.

But I can’t grasp it.

I cry.

Twisted by a view of disgust.
I can no longer trust.
I can feel my heart rust,
Today, I’m feeling lost.

I fall.

My memory’s disintegrating.
And I can’t stop hating.
People keep ***** stirring,
And I can feel the rage burning.

I break.

I want to be heard.
I need to be heard.
But they won’t hear me and it’s hard.
It’s leaving me scarred.

I feel bitter.

Swirling in a plague of numbness.
Torn, by the mass of darkness.
My blades having so much sharpness.
The pills taste of bitterness.

I die.

But not physically, it’s inside.
The pressure, isn’t kind.
People are blind.
And now they’ve left me behind..

I fade…
[comments] => 6 [counter] => 367 [topic] => 61 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

I Fade.

Contributed by deathdrop on Tuesday, 12th June 2007 @ 06:47:37 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Beside all the shadows,
Over the echoes,
And beyond all the meadows,

I stand.

Inside harsh feelings.
Inside me I’m screaming,
Flowing beyond meaning,
Into suicidal dreaming.

I lay.

I felt better yesterday.
But not today.
I’m losing my faith.
That It’ll all be OK,
Some day…

I hate.

But wrapped in the arms of Jason.
I’m in an emotional prison.
I’m in a mirrored dimension.
In a pocket full of potential.

But I can’t grasp it.

I cry.

Twisted by a view of disgust.
I can no longer trust.
I can feel my heart rust,
Today, I’m feeling lost.

I fall.

My memory’s disintegrating.
And I can’t stop hating.
People keep ***** stirring,
And I can feel the rage burning.

I break.

I want to be heard.
I need to be heard.
But they won’t hear me and it’s hard.
It’s leaving me scarred.

I feel bitter.

Swirling in a plague of numbness.
Torn, by the mass of darkness.
My blades having so much sharpness.
The pills taste of bitterness.

I die.

But not physically, it’s inside.
The pressure, isn’t kind.
People are blind.
And now they’ve left me behind..

I fade…

Copyright Â© deathdrop ... [ 2007-06-12 18:47:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by Tot on Tuesday, 12th June 2007 @ 11:50:41 PM AEST
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"Torn, by the mass of darkness.
My blades having so much sharpness"~such a dark and deeply emotional poem~ I feel the struggle and the pain~ dark, but beautifully so~Tot

Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 12:18:39 AM AEST
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This is certainly a emotionalbut yet a beautiful write..
God Bless!

Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 03:04:01 AM AEST
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You're asking for comments, so i'm assuming you want the rough as well as the smooth. Firstly, i like it, you have a very good ryhme scheme going on. It almost appears of balance but well put together, especially in the first half. However, the last half sometimes seems a struggle to get the ryhme in. Sometimes a little too stretched out and i think the rythm starst to slide toward the end and it all seems a bit laboured and manufactured. Maybe a little polish, though generally a good piece

Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 06:51:09 AM AEST
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Intense feelings in this write

Michelle

Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 12:19:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Inside me I'm screaming...
deep inner flow
well done...

Re: I Fade. (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Saturday, 8th December 2007 @ 02:12:52 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This was beautiful! I really loved the way the poem... grew. You started in one place, one state of mind, and suddenly you became aware of your emotions, and you listen to them more, until they drown out the world. This was really well written. And know, that as your pen touches paper, you don't fade. Writing seems to be your way of fightin back.
Take care,
David

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