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Array ( [sid] => 133034 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Funeral [time] => 2007-03-25 01:00:26 [hometext] => This poem wrote itself while I was going to lunch. [bodytext] => On my way to lunch today,
I encountered a funeral procession.
Pulling my car over
to join the other motorists
in paying respect,
I watched the mourners ride by
and realized “I’m going to be late.”
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 295 [topic] => 21 [informant] => butterat_zool [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

Funeral

Contributed by butterat_zool on Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 01:00:26 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

On my way to lunch today,
I encountered a funeral procession.
Pulling my car over
to join the other motorists
in paying respect,
I watched the mourners ride by
and realized “I’m going to be late.”

Copyright Â© butterat_zool ... [ 2007-03-25 01:00:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Funeral (User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 02:47:24 AM AEST
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Very realistic after thought, very human and emotional too.

Short but very good.

FRANCO.

Re: Funeral (User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 07:39:00 AM AEST
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The last line can mean I'm going to be late dying or getting back to work...neat. Paying your respects..was worth it.

Re: Funeral (User Rating: 1 )
by Neo-Theatre on Thursday, 29th March 2007 @ 06:37:09 PM AEST
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The Neo-theatres;

The initial line screams "Iambic meter" of some foot, even though it isn't in any.

I would have broken the line after 'Motorists', and probably have found a way to eleminate 'in paying respect' which is to a degree redundant, insomuch as the respect payed is implicit in the action of the cars pulling over.

The last line is of course the crux of the whole poem. If a poem is going to be a one trick pony such as this, that trick better be good-and in this instance it is. Very clever.

There is no way to eliminate these " " from the line as it stands due to correct grammar. They do diminish the impact of the pundit however, as they provide the reader with a hint, or clue to the double meaning of the line. To poetasters such as the Neo-theatres, it intially smacked of being condescending-however, again grammar dictates that the line must stand as it does unless you are to make some major alterations.

A fine poem. Succinct and clever.

TNT

Re: Funeral (User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on Friday, 30th March 2007 @ 01:01:56 AM AEST
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For this reader this post evokes the feel of Haiku
especially under the author's note.
However:
"No one on their deathbed ever said: I wished I spent more time at the office" P. Tsongas

All else aside I love it when they write themselves.

Peace
Yangdantien

Re: Funeral (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Monday, 28th April 2014 @ 10:43:52 PM AEST
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that's about as real as it gets, i've done the same myself,

hugs n' love nessa

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