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Array
(
[sid] => 129730
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Going Down With No Intention of Stopping
[time] => 2006-12-23 15:20:09
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Why does this hurt so badly. Tears constantly fill my eyes and all I can do is let them free. I don't know why this is so hard for me to forget. Everything I do something reminds me of her. Why do I love her still? Were my decisions right? I know alot of things went wrong. Lies and pain were highlighted in the relationship. People tell me to forget, but I don't want to. I can't forget something that changed my life. Something beautiful tainted by something so trivial. The fear and realization that Christmas will be spent alone comes true. 12:00 am on New Years, and no one's lips will be pressed against mine keeps me up at night. Verbal communication has stopped entirley. The only communication is through songs and poems. This isn't right. Does she still think about me? Or is it to the point where bitterness has consumed her heart? Forgetting or convincing may be an easy act for her. Night after night I climb into bottles of booze trying to forget for the moment. But all that does is bring me down even more. This destructive lifestyle of mine hasn't consumed my whole life. I won't let it. I flash fake smiles to people and pretend to be happy. I have chosen the road to take and I can't go back. The low road is least traveled, so I walk upon it. Going down to another place with no intention of stopping is my life story. I can't help to shake these memories. I can just let time tell me if this is meant to be. God I hope it is/isn't. Confusion blocks my every thought. My arms are cold from nobody beign in them. I reserved that place for such a long time for one person. My heart beats less and my vision gets blurry. Slowly the former image of myself fades away. ~Broken Savior~ [comments] => 2 [counter] => 180 [topic] => 48 [informant] => BrokenSavior [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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