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Array ( [sid] => 126079 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Washed Away [time] => 2006-09-22 14:27:54 [hometext] => [bodytext] => The cold tides rush against my heart

as the contact is made between our eyes

as i finally discover love truely blinds



My love for you is like a deep seated lie

because these emotions you continue stealing

and soon enough i'll be left without feeling



My confusion begins to rise to the ceiling

as i think we shouldn't ever be

the withering of my heart would be too high a fee



Then i think, "she's not for me"

I also believe we shouldn't be apart

It's then i realize she's a piece of living art



but the cold tides have washed away the love and warmth within my heart

[comments] => 3 [counter] => 198 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Toriano [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
Washed Away

Contributed by Toriano on Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 02:27:54 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove



The cold tides rush against my heart

as the contact is made between our eyes

as i finally discover love truely blinds



My love for you is like a deep seated lie

because these emotions you continue stealing

and soon enough i'll be left without feeling



My confusion begins to rise to the ceiling

as i think we shouldn't ever be

the withering of my heart would be too high a fee



Then i think, "she's not for me"

I also believe we shouldn't be apart

It's then i realize she's a piece of living art



but the cold tides have washed away the love and warmth within my heart





Copyright © Toriano ... [ 2006-09-22 14:27:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Washed Away (User Rating: 1 )
by brave_celt on Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 03:01:44 PM AEST
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good write the raw emotion is there but not the structure. you should choose your rhyme scheme better if you choose to rhyme. overall good write keep it up


Re: Washed Away (User Rating: 1 )
by ButchCorpuz on Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 06:48:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I loved the way you described the pain
and emptiness of the heart as cold tides rushing. Nice poem!

-Butch Corpuz
-Betrayer of Hope


Re: Washed Away (User Rating: 1 )
by chaos78 on Friday, 22nd September 2006 @ 10:45:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
a good write it feel like it came from the heart thanks for sharing




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