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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 12-June 19:13:58 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 12372
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Nothing
[time] => 2003-02-10 20:00:00
[hometext] => Random crazy thoughts were disturbing my sleep and I needed to destroy them...
[bodytext] => Mixed feelings run rampant through my head.
Should I forgive and re-establish contact? Forgive... Myself for being so unbelievably stupid. Are the instincts and unwanted link Truly gone?!!! Is this newly-found peace on a stable foundation...?! Is it even real ? Can friendship bloom from all this....? Highly unlikely... How do I know for sure that I'm not lying to myself!?! Seems like I don't have the ability To mask my reactions. or my thoughts. Never could.... Words just run straight From my head uncensored. I have no need to twist the truth. I'm a liar... Of the worst kind. Not someone who lies to other people. One who lies to herself. I tell myself I have a life Even if it's not the one I've envisioned. Truth is... I have nothing....AM nothing! Absolutely nothing at all. This clarity is like a swift and brutal kick... Well-aimed and painful. And yet, I feel nothing. I'm nobody. Some insubstantial mass of molecules... Tolerated. Existing... A whole new definition for the Phrase 'lost cause'... No-one sees me. All this self-analysis is making me go soft in the head :) Aimless Hinderance. Go AWAY!!! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Arwen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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