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Array ( [sid] => 120073 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Bed Of Nails [time] => 2006-05-14 21:54:25 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Here I lay on a bed of nails
dried blood pooled along the floor
a thousand holes
digging into my soul
through the flesh
that my body holds
Worn away slowly by time
are the pieces that hold
together my life
each drip of red
every minute becoming darker
each thread
becoming further undone
Look at me from above
and you will not see
what the nails have done
flesh disturbed but mind un showing
becoming just a game
but one you cannot play
because there is no ending
[comments] => 6 [counter] => 220 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Alineko [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Bed Of Nails

Contributed by Alineko on Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 09:54:25 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Here I lay on a bed of nails
dried blood pooled along the floor
a thousand holes
digging into my soul
through the flesh
that my body holds
Worn away slowly by time
are the pieces that hold
together my life
each drip of red
every minute becoming darker
each thread
becoming further undone
Look at me from above
and you will not see
what the nails have done
flesh disturbed but mind un showing
becoming just a game
but one you cannot play
because there is no ending

Copyright © Alineko ... [ 2006-05-14 21:54:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Kevin on Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 10:03:17 PM AEST
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This poem was very chilling.... i loved it! Very dark and very haunting. Sad, but beautiful nonetheless. You have an excellent way with words and i hope this poem was not about you're life. if it was, i can go w/the tired cliche of YPDC, the whole "cheer up, things'll get better" but hey, you don't need me to tell you that :-)

-Kevin

Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 14th May 2006 @ 10:59:07 PM AEST
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An interesting free verse piece, here.
I enjoyed the ongoing metaphor...it illustrates your feelings rather vividly.
There are some clever techniques utilised here. Like where you relate a physical event to the feelings inside of yourself.
"a thousand holes
digging into my soul"

I particularly liked this line:
"each thread
becoming further undone"

"Look at me from above
and you will not see
what the nails have do"

-an interesting thought.

Well done.

Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Jen54 on Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 01:13:15 AM AEST
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Very deep poem. it kinda hits close to home. i love they way it flows great job.
-jen

Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Sasha on Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 03:04:00 AM AEST
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I agree with everyone else here, great work! Very deep, dark and fascinating!!

Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by flamingblade on Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 11:40:48 AM AEST
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well done
VERY dark

Re: Bed Of Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by MLCstar on Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 02:28:20 AM AEST
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You are talented. To write dark poetry and not make it sound cliche is difficult. you did a fine job though. Fantastically beautiful.

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