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Array
(
[sid] => 105891
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lonely
[time] => 2005-09-17 17:07:05
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Sitting in bed collecting my thoughts I wonder why is it that being good seems so bad. Wondering why I always finish last But the ones who make poor decisions are in front. Throughout the years I decided I didn’t want to be another number I wasn’t going to be another teen gone bad. I told myself that I wouldn’t drink like everyone else Knowing that what I was doing was the right thing to do. But even though something is morally right Doesn’t make it right for everyone. Instead of going to parties I did homework Instead of drinking I watched t.v. Instead of getting sick I played games And instead of having that slim chance that tomorrow morning won’t come for me I lay in bed and sleep knowing that tomorrow will be a wonderful day. And even with all this, things do not seem right. I can not hang out with everyone that I want Or be able to do what I want to do Without someone always there pressuring me into something I don’t want. Friends, at least that what you thought they were, are saying its ok Just drink one or two you will be fine. I see people just drink and drink until they aren’t able to stand, Passing out in bathrooms or hallways Puking up everything they had eaten that day. And then waking up the next morning ready to do it again. I view this lifestyle and realize its ridiculous, Feeling that I’m right and the way I’m will be good for my future. But I’m alone, Lonely in my room collecting my thoughts. “Am I wrong for doing the right thing”, I ask myself. “Should I be like everyone else so I’m not alone” Sometimes it makes it so tempting To just throw my morals and ideals away Just so I’m not alone, Lonely. I go out with some friends just wanting to hang out, First thing that is talked about “Who wants to get ***** up tonight?” “Not me” I think to myself, to shy to admit it. I just say that I’m ready to go home, I get made fun, picked on because I don’t drink Does this make any sense? Doing the right thing but for some reason being treated as its wrong. No matter who I’m with I’m always tempted and teased about the way I feel That I need to liven up because I’m to boring Sitting at home, doing work, doing the right thing But yet for some reason having guilt if what I was doing was wrong. Maybe soon I will be able to figure out my problem. Of why even though people are doing the right thing That they are still criticized about their actions. But as of now I’m just sitting in my bed collecting my thoughts, My thoughts about why am I here alone, Lonely. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 176 [topic] => 48 [informant] => jflo714 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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