Have you tried our mobile app?
Date: Saturday, 10th October 2015 @ 10:17:43 PM AEST
Topic: Sad Poetry
Contributed By: softerware
The website clearly said to me;
We're user friendly as can be!
"Join! Login! Sign up! It’s free!
Don’t wait! Try now! Download! You’ll see!
It’s Fast and Easy! Saves you time!"
3 hours on hold led me to find;
That service is a loop that sends;
You right back to the start again.
And should you reach a human type;
Prepare yourself for scripted hype.
"We are just a click away!
Here to help you every day!
Our response time simply rocks;'
(Ask their programmed answer box)!
Before you call us read our FAQs";
(200 pages, answers that;
Are meant to stop us in our tracks;
Turn us round and send us back)!
"Call our number- wait toll free";
We’ll play commercials endlessly!
To route you where you need to go;
There are a few things they must know!
Like what’s your mother’s maiden name?
Is your social still the same?
Do you own or rent and why?
Then the disconnect …goodbye!
---------------------------------------------------------------
This morning they returned my call;
(At 3 AM from South Napal).
I pinched my nose, and read them thus:
“Welcome to the House of Us.
To speak to me press 17;
For my wife, press BEAUTY QUEEN
Pressing WOOF will get our dog;
He prefers you use our blog.
We are having long wait times:
Press the star for nursery rhymes.
Our menu’s changed; press three for “Really?”
Four connects you in Swahili.
All donations press two -three:
We gladly take your charity.
Please make note if taking surveys;
We have no opinions Thursdays.
Returning calls is our delight;
What time will you be home tonight?
To hear our menu one more time;
please deposit your last dime.
You missed our sign--we're closed for fun.
Stand by, connecting 9-1-1.
This poem is Copyright © softerware
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